Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we’d much rather hide in the closet; forgotten forever. The sticky situations which are definitely not spirit inspired ultimately result in one of the following scenarios: We feel bad, repent and try our hardest to avoid being back there again; we feel bad but can’t muster the courage and strength to extricate ourselves from the situation or we’re aware of the situation but just don’t care.
I attended growth groups at church on Tuesday night and the bulk of our conversation was on how difficult it can be to deal with feelings of guilt sometimes. I find that lately this topic keeps surfacing around me and to my surprise; many people are plagued by these feelings, as a matter of fact, one of my group members just broke down and cried. So I figure I’d write something that will hopefully encourage/comfort anyone feeling any guilt, context being the first scenario; you have repented and trusting in God for continued strength to avoid messy situations.
It seems like many people, myself included, sometimes feel inadequate to receive from God because of something in their past. There is this feeling of “I don’t deserve X because…” or “I have no right” or “I deserve to be unhappy as punishment for what I’ve done” (X being a job, security, a relationship, happiness, a child or whatever else we could depend on God for). These feelings can be so strong sometimes; they lead to feelings of depression, anger, low self esteem and even strong self loathing.
Romans 2:15 talks about our conscience bearing witness to us if the requirements of the law are written on our hearts. Of course, if we have any form of the Holy Spirit in us, we will feel bad when we sin against God however; in Jesus we do have grace and forgiveness for sins. When we repent of sins in Jesus name, God forgives us and contrary to our on tendency as humans, he does not hold it over our heads, he forgets.
May I just say? When God blesses us, it’s not because we deserve it but because of grace. It’s not by our power or might (not by our actions) but by God’s grace. God is not in the business of paying us back but we do have to remember that the good book says no sin will go unpunished. Every sin carries its own repercussions in itself(Truism). As a good friend of mine put it, “if you go to the store for ketchup but get soy sauce instead, yes that was a mistake but it doesn’t mean because of grace you’ll miraculously have ketchup when you get home”, you better be ready to have your fries with soy sauce. I would say, we have grace but earth isn't exactly garden of Eden at the moment. The point is, while there might be repercussions, You have repented and he has forgiven you, he can bless you with whatever he chooses. You are the child of a king and you have a royal inheritance, so take hold of what’s yours.
At my growth group, we came to the conclusion that if we knew where these feelings of guilt were coming from and why they were coming up then these feelings would be easier to deal with. If you have repented, is it in God’s nature to keep reminding you? Those feelings are not of God; the devil knows what God has promised and seeks to keep us away from those things. The feelings that we don’t deserve, or should be punished or whatever else can only originate from someone who doesn’t want us to be happy. So please, in those dark times, remember God loves you, let us shut the devil up and bask in the grace of our Lord Jesus.
This last point was mentioned as a side note at our meeting, sometimes the Holy Spirit might call past situations/actions to our minds but know that the purpose is not to cause despair but to alert us; to remind us to be cautious, to pray or to encourage someone else. With God, all things should work out for good not for our misery.
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