This sure isn’t how she planned it.
This isn’t what she expected.
This isn’t what she dreamt of as a little girl.
This isn’t what he promised her.
This is not what they discussed.
Could this really be her life or is it the cruelest practical joke ever?
She didn’t expect love to be perfect but this? This she would not wish on her worst enemies.
Had she known there was even the remotest possibility that this could one day be her life, no, she would not have risked it.
She looks in the mirror; she can barely recognize herself, a shadow of what she used to be.
The eyes of a stranger stare back at her, asking “what happened?”
She whispers to God, if I have brought this on myself, have mercy and remove this cup.
With bitter tears rolling down her once bouncy, rosy cheeks, she whispers to her creator, “please make it better, deliver me Lord!!!” she cries. This is the only prayer she now has. This is the only prayer she has had for a while now.
Her hair stopped growing years ago, the doctor doesn’t know why. She knows why.
Her lovely fair skin is worn out and prematurely riddled with wrinkles even though she’s only 50. People question why she’s not aging well; they say she misses her children. She knows why.
Her weight is up and down, people think she’s stressed out. She knows why.
She’s screaming and yelling, angry all the time. She’ll go mad otherwise. People think she’s a troublesome woman. She knows why she yells.
She has stopped using the cane but still has a slight limp in her right leg, people think she fell. She knows what really happened.
It’s a rainy day today; she’s never been the type to wear sun glasses. She looks in the mirror, she has to…she knows why.
What she doesn’t know is how she got here.
What happened?
Where is the wide-eyed sweet-talker who promised her forever?
Where is the man who swore to he’d never hurt her?
Who is this stranger who looks at her like something the dog threw up?
What is going to become of her now?
How does she dance this waltz alone? Actually she might be better off waltzing alone. This is worse than not knowing the dance…She’s called everyone to watch her dance, she’s center stage but magically every stitch of clothing has disappeared. She’s stark naked in front of all these people.
Mother, sister, friend, my heart breaks in ten thousand pieces for you. God will be the judge.
May 20, 2011
May 4, 2011
Stuck like glue to the God in me
Osama is dead!
That’s probably how most people received this news whether it was read in the paper, on a mute television or heard from news casters family or friend. I imagine the difference so far is the general reaction to the news.
I personally, went from really? To wow! To Obama! To wait a second…Could this mean possible retaliation by other extremist groups? Then I as I continued to read the article, it mentioned that Osama’s body was in custody of the U.S, of course, this was before we found out he had been dumped into the Arabian ocean because his home land Saudi would not accept the body. My next thought was then, what will they do with the body after all, his rights as a Muslim had to be recognized, he had to be interred within 24 hours…At this point, I’m simultaneously browsing trusted news sources including of course the most important one, Face book. It is at this point that I start to get really flustered because people were celebrating! Not to be a holier than thou or a bit of a party pooper or anything but relief and jubilation did not even occur to me at all.
I guess first things first, someone just died and second, he is one man with thousands of followers as well as other extremists groups who subscribe to his thinking and are more than willing to accept the proverbial torch from him; people that will take his place without having to be asked.
Anyway, to get right down to my point...was the jubilating mob outside the Whitehouse, the night Osama’s death was announced, an appropriate gathering? I am not questioning the actual act of gathering because of Osama’s death but the spirit in which these people were gathered. It’s a little difficult to criticize the people that have been celebrating because after all, Osama did mass murder hundreds if not thousands. He was a monster.
See now, that word monster is interesting to me. Without saying too much, I would just like to touch on the fact that it isn’t in our nature, as our God made us, as human beings to revel in the death of another, the wasted life of a lost soul. Not saying he shouldn’t be dead but what would make us better/different than him? When the life of another means nothing.
Our calling and inclination as warm blooded creatures with a heart and a soul is to rehabilitate lost people and possibly educate. I mean, the creator of all of the universe saw it fit to send his son to redeem our lost souls so what would be expect from us who cannot create even a sand fly. However, in the event where we are unable to change people just as Jesus was unable to either out of their own refusal to be rehabilitated or our own failure to adequately and effectively address their issues, do we feel a sense victory or do we feel some disappointment because that person was one of us who just happened to lose their way and was just unable to find it?
This situation is very similar to the laughing at your enemy’s down fall scenario but Psalm 24 starting at verse 17 reads 17 Don't laugh when your enemy falls; don't crow over his collapse. 18 God might see, and become very provoked, and then take pity on his plight.
I think when we face these situations in our lives, and it will not always be the number 1 public enemy like Osama but sometimes a less notorious enemy of ours, let us look deep down and find that which the God in us. Take some introspective time and as cheesy as it sounds, do what Jesus would do. My prayers go out to his victims, may God heal a wound nothing...not even the death of his man can bring. Better to love than to give into hate, that, would be the ultimate defeat in my opinion
That’s probably how most people received this news whether it was read in the paper, on a mute television or heard from news casters family or friend. I imagine the difference so far is the general reaction to the news.
I personally, went from really? To wow! To Obama! To wait a second…Could this mean possible retaliation by other extremist groups? Then I as I continued to read the article, it mentioned that Osama’s body was in custody of the U.S, of course, this was before we found out he had been dumped into the Arabian ocean because his home land Saudi would not accept the body. My next thought was then, what will they do with the body after all, his rights as a Muslim had to be recognized, he had to be interred within 24 hours…At this point, I’m simultaneously browsing trusted news sources including of course the most important one, Face book. It is at this point that I start to get really flustered because people were celebrating! Not to be a holier than thou or a bit of a party pooper or anything but relief and jubilation did not even occur to me at all.
I guess first things first, someone just died and second, he is one man with thousands of followers as well as other extremists groups who subscribe to his thinking and are more than willing to accept the proverbial torch from him; people that will take his place without having to be asked.
Anyway, to get right down to my point...was the jubilating mob outside the Whitehouse, the night Osama’s death was announced, an appropriate gathering? I am not questioning the actual act of gathering because of Osama’s death but the spirit in which these people were gathered. It’s a little difficult to criticize the people that have been celebrating because after all, Osama did mass murder hundreds if not thousands. He was a monster.
See now, that word monster is interesting to me. Without saying too much, I would just like to touch on the fact that it isn’t in our nature, as our God made us, as human beings to revel in the death of another, the wasted life of a lost soul. Not saying he shouldn’t be dead but what would make us better/different than him? When the life of another means nothing.
Our calling and inclination as warm blooded creatures with a heart and a soul is to rehabilitate lost people and possibly educate. I mean, the creator of all of the universe saw it fit to send his son to redeem our lost souls so what would be expect from us who cannot create even a sand fly. However, in the event where we are unable to change people just as Jesus was unable to either out of their own refusal to be rehabilitated or our own failure to adequately and effectively address their issues, do we feel a sense victory or do we feel some disappointment because that person was one of us who just happened to lose their way and was just unable to find it?
This situation is very similar to the laughing at your enemy’s down fall scenario but Psalm 24 starting at verse 17 reads 17 Don't laugh when your enemy falls; don't crow over his collapse. 18 God might see, and become very provoked, and then take pity on his plight.
I think when we face these situations in our lives, and it will not always be the number 1 public enemy like Osama but sometimes a less notorious enemy of ours, let us look deep down and find that which the God in us. Take some introspective time and as cheesy as it sounds, do what Jesus would do. My prayers go out to his victims, may God heal a wound nothing...not even the death of his man can bring. Better to love than to give into hate, that, would be the ultimate defeat in my opinion
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